Coaching for the Ultimate Coaches: Parents of Young Children

At its essence, coaching helps individuals focus on setting goals, creating outcomes, and managing personal change so they can live the life they want to live.  As a parent of a five-year old and two-year old, I cannot think of a better audience for coaching than parents of young children.

Words like “change” and “transition” mean many things to different people.  However, no group understands the power of change like parents of young children.  Each day, the dramatic changes in my kids’ development leaves me feeling both exhilarated and exhausted all of the time. 

Paradoxically, while I am often hyper-focused on the changes taking place in the lives of my kids, it is harder to give adequate attention to the massive changes that have taken place in my own life since I became a parent. Changes in my lifestyle.  Changes in my career.  Changes in my biorhythms.  Changes in my marriage and friendships.  Changes in my ideas.  Changes in my activities.  The list goes on and on…

Due to lack of time and energy, there are times I’ve chosen to sidestep dealing with these changes, or have tried to just accept them as “the way things are.” Yet the profound impact these changes have on my life make it impossible to avoid dealing with them.

Through coaching, I am learning to work with these changes in a way that is aligned with my values and how I want to live my day-to-day life.  I am quickly discovering the excellent platform coaching creates for parents of young children who can undoubtedly benefit from the goal-oriented, time-sensitive, and action-focused process.

If this resonates with you in the way it has resonated with me, let’s continue the conversation and see how coaching can benefit you!

Are You Curious?

Being new at something, especially something that we want to learn, naturally sparks our curiosity.  As the mom of two young children, I cannot help but conjure up the image of that familiar little monkey, Curious George, whenever I think about what it means "to be curious;" a theme which has come up quite a bit lately.

One month into the launch of my coaching practice (and all of the changes in my life it has triggered) has me thinking a lot about how curiosity can deepen our learning and forward our action.  Based on the Co-Active coaching model, the cycle of action and learning over time leads to sustained and effective change; a common goal we work towards in any coaching relationship.  Below is a brief description of three places I found Curious George staring back at me this past week:

CTI Training

Last weekend was my first Co-Active training course and one of the core skills we learned and practiced was how to be curious.  Such a simple concept in theory, but one that is easily lost when we try to "do something right" and get distracted judging ourselves and others.  Unsurprisingly, my first couple practice sessions resulted in moments of frustration and self-doubt as I tried to analyze what my partner was saying and offer her solutions.  However, an amazing thing happened once I stopped trying to "do" and allowed myself to listen and wonder.  Seemingly simple questions - "What was that like for you?" "What else happened?" "How do you want to feel?" - opened up our conversation in a way that allowed my partner to understand her situation differently and create future action steps that would lead to a effective change in her life.

Touring Preschools

A few days later I found myself touring a couple neighborhood preschools that we are considering for my daughter this fall.  While I am well-versed in various preschool environments, and interact with children of this age range on a daily basis, I saw something different this time.  Perhaps it was the freedom to quietly observe without the distraction of one of my children vying for my attention.  Nevertheless, I noticed how almost every activity - big and small - was set up by the teachers with the intention to nurture the children's curiosity.  And it is remarkable how effortlessly children utilize their natural curiosity when presented with the opportunity.  They are masters at it, which probably explains their obsession with Curious George at this age.  Several times, I watched children approach a project or task with no judgement or self-doubt.  Just a sense of wonderment and experimentation.  "What a precious gift," I commented to one of the program's directors, "to provide an environment for young children to learn through exploration."  When does this natural ability start to fade, and why?

Yoga Class

I recently found a yoga class at my gym that I've been going to on a weekly basis.  For me, yoga is a place where I can go and tune in on myself.  This week, when the instructor asked us to be curious about where we were in a certain pose, I thought about it in a whole new way.  First, I conjured up an image of my buddy Curious George playing around with different sensations and movements in his little body.  Then, I let go of my judgement ("am I doing this right?" "do I look ok?") and started paying attention to what my body and mind were experiencing. "Wow, this is different!" I thought to myself as I shifted my weight and felt my breath expand.

I know that in a few years, Curious George will probably lose his centrality in our home life as the kids get older and discover new things.  However, as an adult, I am reconnecting with my old Simeon pal, and rediscovering the power of being curious.  I hope we can all keep his spirit alive as we move forward.